And Ain’t You A Hero

As usual I’m late to the party in discovering that the 2000 Olympic bronze medalists have been stripped of their medals (LOL China) which have now been awarded to the USA. Is it just me or has Sydney had a lot of medal shuffling? (I’m looking at you, Andreea…)

The response from the gymnasts themselves has been very subdued, which is what I expected. Yes, Dawes came off more annoying than Maloney, but whatever.

Speaking of Maloney, I take issue with people who say (ten years later) she was the “it” girl going into the 2000 Olympics. The Mrs. probably paid them to say that. In retrospect, sane people know that Elise Ray was better — which means you can’t take stock in the “it” factor.

P.S. While we’re on the subject, someone please tell me if Parkettes is still as screwed up as it always has been.

P.P.S. I expect the Chinese to make sure He Kexin and Deng Linlin won’t let it all hang out like Dong Fangxiao did.

Oh, Georgia!

So I was lying around in wait for the field to be determined for NCAA Championships and was coming through the results when I realized–

–where the hell was Georgia?

Nowhere to be found.

Well! So it appears that Missouri and Oregon State, who finished 1-2 at their Regionals and pipped Georgia, are almost-Davids. I say almost because the Georgia Goliath has been ill, quite ill, for some time now, and its defeat was imminent. I just did not know it would come before the Super Six.

So that’s that then. No five-peat (or whatever number they were on, ha!) this year.

I say: GO BRUINS. (Although Aunt Joyce is of the opinion that Florida is capable of the upset. But no, I can’t give Rhonda Faehn the satisfaction!)

It is time for a Nastia Poll

Save Natalia Laschenova!!

My dear friends,

Let us all lift our collective hands and slap the INS silly for denying Natalia Laschenova citizenship! And then subjecting her to the threat of deportation!

Of course, I have no idea what the circumstances are, but I have faith that Laschenova, my favorite Soviet,  is not some rabid terrorist who wants to blow planes up. The kind of faith that says, “She’s paying our taxes, unlike SOME PEOPLE who are already citizens.”

SAVE NATALIA LASCHENOVA!!

Aunt Joyce calls out Katie Heenan

Our favorite Aunt has laid down the law and told Katie Heenan to tell it like it is and stop bullshitting. Bravo, because really, Katie, there is no need to be so partisan even if the senior class were your BFFs for several years. You used to be an elite gymnast who KNEW WHAT WAS PROPER.

No, Katie. You can’t start revising history and blaming the last few meets on the judges. Your former teammates are out of shape and performing shitty gymnastics. They are a mess and don’t have Courtney Kupets to bail them out.

When Kevin says that Marcia has some of the best handstands of all time, will you please say “sure if you like bent elbows.” Weren’t you coached by a soviet genius? Do you ever wonder why Ashley Postell hated you so much?

Just because Gina does an Omeilianchik and a Double Arabian does not mean she is Courtney Kupets.

You need to get on Jay for having Marcia 5th in the bars lineup? He always likes people who are good in the gym and Marcia is the queen of hitting in the gym and being fugly in meets, but is this 1996 and is Jay Octavian Belu trying to hide Mirela Turgalan [sic] on beam in hopes that the judges will be a bit generous with her score?

I love it! I love it all!

The comments are pretty golden too.

I’d rate Dawes above Strug, okay?

Cut scene from NBC’s “Parks and Recreation”.

Why this guy rates Kerri “Drama Queen” Strug over Dominique “Even Bigger Drama Queen But At Least She’s Prettier” Dawes and the Soviet great Natalia Shaposhnikova, I will never, ever know.

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

I don’t believe I’ve mentioned Chellsie Memmel’s Gatorade commercial on here yet. All you really need to know is that it is awesome–at least Chellsie’s part is. Much more hip than the one with Alicia The Girl Who Makes Horse-Trotting Noises.

Yesterday’s top search term to get to this blog was “bridget sloan“. Today’s (as of this posting) is “shawn johnson gymnast & difficulties“.

Another search term from yesterday is “underwear for gymnasts“. I don’t know much about that,  really, but I can connect you to the Hanes website. If it helps.