I’d rate Dawes above Strug, okay?

Cut scene from NBC’s “Parks and Recreation”.

Why this guy rates Kerri “Drama Queen” Strug over Dominique “Even Bigger Drama Queen But At Least She’s Prettier” Dawes and the Soviet great Natalia Shaposhnikova, I will never, ever know.

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

I don’t believe I’ve mentioned Chellsie Memmel’s Gatorade commercial on here yet. All you really need to know is that it is awesome–at least Chellsie’s part is. Much more hip than the one with Alicia The Girl Who Makes Horse-Trotting Noises.

Yesterday’s top search term to get to this blog was “bridget sloan“. Today’s (as of this posting) is “shawn johnson gymnast & difficulties“.

Another search term from yesterday is “underwear for gymnasts“. I don’t know much about that,  really, but I can connect you to the Hanes website. If it helps.

“A beautiful day in Spokane”

Random hits:

1. I do not follow Nastia on Twitter because her constant use of exclamation marks hurts my eyes.

2. Courtney Kupets should guest-star on Make It or Break It again. I would totally watch that episode. Especially if it entails her beating the crap out of those snotty little pretenders.

3. I want Utah to beat Georgia on Friday. Probably not going to happen. Utah has anointed itself my favorite team this season–without my permission. The hell, Utes.

4. Re: my previous post, it seems McCool’s routine on floor won out. Youtube here I come.

Which NCAA routine from last weekend should I watch?

I need your opinion. Which one would you want me to watch (and also show to my mom)?

(If it’s a floor routine with booty-shaking in it, I probably won’t show it to her anyway.)

All of this is, of course, dependent on whether I can find the routine(s) on Gymnastike or Youtube. Or if you give me the links. Just kidding (not really).

Listen to your Aunt

Like always, I find myself late to something. This time it is the wonderful cattiness of Aunt Joyce’s Ice Cream Stand.

While it’s not all gymnastics there–figure skating tends to hog the spotlight sometimes–dear Aunt Joyce, diva par excellence, provides me with much entertainment. Where else are you going to find artistic appreciation married to scurrilous gossip (and oh, what juicy scurrilousness it is–whoever would have thought that Nastia Liukin would have dated that figure skater Lysacek!)? I find that dear Auntie and I share the opinion that Courtney Kupets is freaking awesome, and that’s enough to keep me coming back.

So what are you waiting for? Go visit your Aunt Joyce. Dear Auntie was the one who told me Melanie Sinclair got arrested, charged with felonies and had to post bond. Now THAT was a corker, and by golly it was TRUE. There’s a lesson for you all–don’t go dating felons, and if by some chance you do end up falling for a felon, for God’s sake don’t stash his stuff in your apartment.

You say Bridget Sloan became the all-around world champion? That’s nice, but right now I’m too busy “ROTFLMAO” (as they say) at these NCAA gymnast wild children. Indeedy.

It’s So Convenient

Once upon a time, I wanted to write a post about the many scandals that rocked the Romanian women’s gymnastics program over the years.

Alas, I have not been able to. But the Couch Gymnast has done so, with her usual brand of humor. I highly recommend it, as it doesn’t seem like I’ll be finishing mine.

Etc., blah blah, Sandra is going to the World Championships and Nastia is not. I mildly doubt that 2009 will be anything like 2005 for the USA, but we’ll see.

Li Ya sues a restaurant

Anyone else think that Li Ya is being like that lady who sued a McDonald’s because their coffee burned her?

Soup = burns = emotional anguish

If Li Ya wins, I will unofficially nominate her for the Stella Awards.

Thanks Coach Rick for this news.

Hey, I actually watched Nationals!

Look at who’s alive, eh?

Well last night I watched the Nationals all-around final (Day 2), commentated by Al, Tim, and Elfi–who are more unbearable than ever. Idiots.

Thoughts, because I’m sure most of my readership has watched the competition already:

1. Rebecca Bross had an awful Day 2, and for some reason I didn’t feel very sorry for her at all (although I did cringe in sympathy when she flew too far on her Pak and biffed herself in the ribs). Maybe because I am relieved that WOGA is not producing the national champion this time.

2. Nastia definitely has filled out some, and good for her. I’ve been following Miss Nastia on Twitter, and I daresay that she’s become quite the chatterbox. And I am positive that that little girl whom Al kept pointing out was saying “I’m scared.”

3. Well, I’m thrilled for my national champ Bridget (Yay Bridge!), but I was kind of hoping that this would be Ivana’s time. (But Valeri, can’t you do something about her damn release skills that still have no effing amplitude at all?)

4. Jana still hasn’t gotten it together. I’m frustrated for her. It hurts knowing that everyone’s standing in the way of her finishing her unfinished business.

5. Speaking of unfinished business, who else was “WTF!” when Alicia said that she was coming out of retirement? Alicia, don’t dooooo it. D: I know the Johnny-come-lately gymnastics fans must be very happy about this, but I’M not. And I’m a die-hard Alicia fan, mind you. Alicia would better serve the gymnastics community if she would throw Tim and Elfi out of the booth and do the commentating herself.

6. Speaking of retirement, I was pleasantly shocked to see Chellsie Memmel still at it, even if it was only “to find herself”. GO CHELLSIE.

7. Sam Peszek’s hair was awful on Day 2. WTF is your obsession when the “bump”, Sam?

8. I apparently missed something with the new FIG Code of Points, because the scores surprised me with their comparative lowness. I know that the judges are only counting a limited amount of skills, but other than that I can’t depend on the drivel that Tim and Elfi spout at the viewer.

9. I was actually happy to see Shawn attending. I still feel badly about the stalker thing, that must’ve thrown her for a loop.

My heartfelt apologies to those who were afraid that I had abandoned this place. I have, but not intentionally. I still have one eye on the gymnastics world, and I am hoping to continue to do so.

“Chussy” decides it’s time

So I’m checking up on a few things and to my dismay, I find out that Oksana Chusovitina has announced her intention to finally retire.

Chusovitina is the very model of perseverance; even Valeri Liukin said, “Everyone bows down to her.” I wish her all the best for her and her family in future.

In more cheerful news, I enjoyed this 2009 montage by the Utah Utes. Someday it will be their year; shame that it couldn’t have been during Baskett and Kim’s time.

She’s grown up

Here’s an interview with Simona Amânar.

Basically:

Right now I am a University assistant at the College for Physical Education and Sport in Timisoara and Vice-President of the Romanian Federation of Gymnastics.

Ah, dear old Simi. How you’ve grown.